1982 graduate establishes new Lakeland scholarship
When Paul Meese鈥檚 wife of 30 years, Ruth, tragically died in January of 2019 from leukemia in just 19 days, the 1982 Lakeland graduate was devastated.
鈥淲e never saw it coming,鈥� he said.
In the years since Ruth鈥檚 passing, Paul has established a legacy of giving back to celebrate his wife鈥檚 memory and to help others through the grief of losing a loved one.
Paul, who is retired and living in AuTrain, Mich., is establishing the Paul M. Meese '82 Music Endowed Scholarship which will support full-time undergraduate music majors attending Lakeland.
The scholarship will keep a strong focus on the importance of art and how music is critical to happiness and peace, Meese said.
It is the latest way that Meese has made a positive impact following his wife鈥檚 passing.
After Ruth鈥檚 sudden death, Meese was left to navigate the painful and often lonely stages that followed 鈥� anger, depression and simply wondering why.
Unbeknownst to him at the time, his grief would lead to a book that helped Meese along his journey and has turned into a resource to help others. Meese鈥檚 book 鈥�19 Days: One Man's Journey Through Grief,鈥� published in May 2021, invites readers to follow his journey as he navigates the process following his wife鈥檚 sudden passing.
In July of 2019, less than six months after Ruth鈥檚 death, Paul decided to retire and hit the road. As he put it, he had lost his will to work.
He drew inspiration from 鈥淏lue Highways,鈥� a 1982 autobiographical travel book by William Least Heat-Moon, which chronicles his extended road trip around the United States. He drove only the "Blue Highways," a term he used to refer to small, out-of-the-way roads connecting rural America, which were drawn in blue on Rand McNally road atlases of the time.
Meese travelled from Colorado (where he was living at the time) to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (the area where he was born and raised) never getting on an interstate.
鈥淲hen I returned to Colorado that fall, I was overwhelmed when walking in my house,鈥� he said. 鈥淚t was all things Ruth at every turn of the head.鈥�
He started seeing a counselor who encouraged him to write a book about his experience, noting that there were no books on grief written by men.
鈥淚 told her I would think about it,鈥� he said.
A few weeks later, Meese sat down at his laptop and started writing. His son walked in and asked what he was doing, and Meese shared the counselor鈥檚 suggestion.
鈥淗e said, 鈥楽he's right Dad. I looked. There are no books written by men. Keep writing,鈥欌�� Meese said. 鈥淪o, I did.鈥�
He slowly started to tell friends what he was doing, and he defined a goal: To help one person.
鈥淚t became cathartic to write,鈥� Meese said. 鈥淪ome days it was a lot, and some days not. The process itself kept me focused and processing what I went through.鈥�
Meese attended Michigan Tech before completing his undergraduate at Lakeland, then he attended Michigan State University and received a master鈥檚 in guidance and counseling. He worked a long career in human resources and the family lived on both coasts twice in addition to the Midwest. Meese and his wife both retired from Front Range Community College in Colorado.
In addition to being an author, Meese is an accomplished musician, performing with five symphony orchestras (including the Sheboygan Symphony Orchestra) as well as various community bands and smaller ensembles. His last project was playing in a jazz and blues combo with his son playing bass.
He is an active member of the Rotary and Lions clubs and has served on various boards, including a school board, Art in Public Places and the local Humane Society.
He continues to give back and his message continues to be: It's not hard to be kind.
鈥淪ince writing it, my new goal is to help one more person, and I continue to do that,鈥� Meese said. 鈥淚 still receive the occasional card or email thanking me for writing the book, telling me how much it meant to them personally.鈥�
To purchase or learn more about the book and access free resources for those going through the grief process, visit his website at www.20daysandbeyond.com. All proceeds from his book go to a scholarship at Front Range in Ruth鈥檚 memory to support women who go into the trades or engineering.
To support the Paul M. Meese '82 Music Scholarship, gifts can be made online at Lakeland.edu/give.
